Life in the Fast Lane

A German priest has taken stress relief to an all-time high — or low, as the case may be — when he developed a rather bizarre strategy to help parishioners escape the stresses of daily life by having them lie in a true-to-life open grave.

“I meant it as a meditative exercise.” pastor Thorsten Nolting, from the western German city of Duesseldorf said. “I wanted people to think about what weighs on them down in the darkness and gather the energy to resist it.”

But the caper was foiled when meddling journalists rained down upon the pastor’s ‘Grave Therapy’ session.

Nolting said his plan went “horribly wrong” when journalists’ relentlessly questioned parishioners that were “laid to rest,” destroying the serenity and atmosphere of the event.

“It wasn’t silent, as it should have been. They ruined it. (They) would not go away, even when I asked them.” Nolting said.

Extraverts who could cope with the unrelenting questioning were happy to climb down into the 6.5 foot (2 meter) long hole, and then rave about their “resurrection.” Nolting added.

But such was not the case for one man that was still shaking 20 minutes after his 7-minute stint in the dank grave, as one local paper claimed.

Bizarre Graves
While one man may have had a knack for unusual grave therapy, others have laid down in some very curious final resting places. Some are entirely outlandish, scary and creepy, while yet others have somber memorials or idyllic artwork.

Photo Nepfotos

Hallstatt — In the cemetery surrounding the church stands the Beinhaus, a chapel that serves as a storehouse for some very bizarre objects.

This former mortuary now holds some 1,200 human skulls, painted with floral designs and in many cases inscribed with the name, date and cause of death of the deceased. Shortage of space in the graveyard had meant that some 10 years after a funeral, when a body had decomposed, the remains were moved to the chapel to make room for the next coffin to be buried, resulting in this unusual depository.

Photo Nepfotos

Photo Janflyz

Oscar Wilde’s bizarre grave in the Pere Lachaise cemetery. The marks are where people have kissed the sculpture.

St Mary’s Cemetery. Photo Zenosaurus

Photo VonMurr

Mosaic twin graves near Fortin de las Flores, Mexico, from the “Funebre” Book.

Photo ImipolexG

Photo Whipper Snapper

“Hud” preserved at St. Augustine Church, Brookland, Kent. On display near the door is a surviving hud — a wooden sentry box-like structure which was reserved for the minister to stand inside at the grave and deliver the funeral service in the pouring rain in the days before umbrellas were invented. Designed to protect his wig, it’s believed to be 18th century in origin.

Novodevichi Cemetery. Photo Amar Hashmi

The roll-call of those who have been laid to rest in this fascinating cemetery says something about its prestige. Writers Nikolai Gogol, Anton Chekhov, Mikhail Bulgakov, poet Maiakovskii, singer Chaliapin and composer Skriabin, plus Stalin’s wife, and the bizarre black-and-white headstone devoted to former Soviet leader Nikita Krushchev.

Novodevichi Cemetery. Photo Amar Hashmi

Novodevichi Cemetery. Photo Amar Hashmi

Novodevichi Cemetery. Photo Amar Hashmi

Photo Denis Gobo

Photo Lucathegalga
Fox on a grave at Campo Santo, Gent

Vestre Gravlund, Oslo. Photo Natalie Maynor

Montparnasse Hands. Photo Natalie Maynor

Photo Natalie Maynor

Detail representing Sicilian heritage on a tombstone in Natchez City Cemetery.

Photo TS Tadler

In contrast to modern tombstones, older ones often deal with death quite frankly. Skulls and crossbones were not just for pirates, but a pretty clear representation of death. While the skull and bones here are stylized, they’re still oddly realistic — you can see the sutures on the skull. Clearly, the artist was familiar with the actual bones.

There’s also an hourglass, what appears to be a coffin and a very weird angel. A pretty blunt message, all told, summed up with the Latin phrase at bottom — “memento mori,” or “remember you will die.”

Photo Robert Scale

Photo Felinebird

Photo Green Velvet

Photo Horslips5

Bishops stone Killadeas (pagan with Christian on one side).

Situated in the cemetery of the Parish Church of Killadeas are several interesting stones, probably the most noted is known as the Bishops Stone. This odd shaped stone has been altered and reused several times, originally thought to have been a carved figure similar to those on nearby White Island.

The body of the figure has been chiseled away and replaced with interlacing, later an ecclesiastical figure carrying a bell and crozier was carved on the western side of the stone and also the inscription “ROBARTACH” added, which is now difficult to see. It’s thought the stone may have also been used as a corbel at some time.

Most of the pagan stones have been reused as Christian stones, as the Irish believed in recycling even then.

Photo FabIndia

Stories about the Saint’s body are bizarre — it seems that the body although not embalmed did not decompose. It has been buried and exhumed on a number of occasions and found to be ‘incorrupt’.

Regarded as a miracle, the body has resisted extensive decay for nearly 500 years, and apparently even the hairs on his beard can still be glimpsed in the coffin in which he sleeps.

The Pope canonized Francis in 1614, but only upon condition that Francis’ right arm be brought to Rome. Legend has it that when the arm was severed, blood flowed as freely as before. These legends could be easily dismissed but for the fact that the body still exists in fairly good condition in Goa. Debate rages in scientific circles as to how the body could have remained “incorrupt” for so long. Some say that St. Francis was expertly mummified, while others say that the incorruptible body is evidence of a Miracle.

Apart from the arm in Rome, there is another outrageous story about his toe which was bitten off by a Portuguese woman and removed from the cathedral in her mouth — which now resides in Lisbon at the home of her descendants — and a toenail takes pride of place in the Braganza family chapel in Chandor. One shoulder blade was divided between three colleges and part of the right hand was sent to Jesuits in Japan.

You can almost glimpse the body of the saint — but if you want a closer look, every 10 years the saint’s relics are taken to the neighboring Sé Cathedral for a month, and pilgrims are allowed to view it.

Cities of the Dead. Photo Tour New Orleans

Because New Orleans is below sea level, bodies have to be placed in mausoleums, otherwise the coffins will float back to the top.

Burial plots are shallow due to the high water table — dig a few feet down, and the grave becomes soggy, filling with water, and the casket will literally float.

The early settlers attempted to place stones in and on top of coffins to weigh them down and keep them underground, but after a rainstorm the rising water table would literally pop the airtight coffins out of the ground. To this day, unpredictable flooding still lifts an occasional coffin out of the ground in those areas generally considered safe from flooding and above the water table.

Eventually, New Orleans’ graves were kept above ground following the Spanish custom of using vaults.

The walls of these cemeteries are made up of economical vaults that are stacked on top of one another. The rich and wealthier families could afford the larger ornate tombs with crypts, and the rows of tombs resemble streets. New Orleans burial plots became known as “Cites of the Dead.”

Photo Syrtis

Photo Cheesemonster

Cemetery De Montparnasse. Photo Hanscolourmay

Photo RBleib

Cemetery De Montparnasse where a stone lion watches over the famous dead.

Catacomb de Paris. Photo Miguel Jette

The Catacomb de Paris is an underground quarry used to stock bones of millions of people when the city of Paris emptied out the graves in 1786.

Photo RM Whittaker1012000

Lastly, merely for fun, a home haunt in the Hyde Park district of Austin, Texas, Halloween 2006.

Sources: Metro, Yahoo News, and Experience New Orleans

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